








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 351 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 294 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2280 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,869 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1829 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2004 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2373 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2663 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,411,322 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 235 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 日本語で何か | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | Fluchseuchschträjer | 57% | 61 |
| #3 | weekend. ♥ R | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | HowlyShiet | 55% | 82 |
| #5 | RealDarkKnight | 53% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knorrr | 53 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Nomadde HD | 17 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Luckster | 13 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Squirrel | 13 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | HowlyShiet | 10 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knorrr | 1089 | 0.15 | 29 min |
| #2 | Nomadde HD | 300 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Luckster | 295 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Fluchseuchschträjer | 276 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #5 | Squirrel | 224 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fluchseuchschträjer | +4.65 | 85 | 76 |
| #2 | HowlyShiet | +4.40 | 88 | 69 |
| #3 | StR1k3r | +4.00 | 90 | 71 |
| #4 | Luckster | +3.69 | 86 | 45 |
| #5 | Knorrr | +3.02 | 77 | 70 |





