








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 546 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 217 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3925 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,562 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2039 | 37% |
| Smokes | 677 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 1552 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1294 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $678,110 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Smith ツ | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | Fluchseuchschträjer | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | HowlyShiet | 66% | 53 |
| #4 | StR1k3r | 66% | 47 |
| #5 | Squirrel | 59% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knorrr | 42 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | Nomadde HD | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Squirrel | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Vinchen<3 | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | spacesLP™ | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knorrr | 846 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #2 | Nomadde HD | 243 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | StR1k3r | 205 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #4 | Vinchen<3 | 163 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Squirrel | 158 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HowlyShiet | +3.11 | 87 | 73 |
| #2 | Fluchseuchschträjer | +3.08 | 84 | 76 |
| #3 | Luckster | +2.96 | 84 | 46 |
| #4 | StR1k3r | +2.92 | 85 | 75 |
| #5 | Mr.Smith ツ | +2.25 | 80 | 79 |





