








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 178 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 292 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2540 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,939 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 971 | 10% |
| Smokes | 2792 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4047 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 2129 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $810,601 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Knorrr | 46% | 287 |
| #10 | weekend. ♥ R | 45% | 22 |
| #11 | RealDarkKnight | 42% | 57 |
| #12 | Vinchen<3 | 41% | 174 |
| #13 | StR1k3r | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knorrr | 43 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Nomadde HD | 13 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Luckster | 11 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | HowlyShiet | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Vinchen<3 | 6 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knorrr | 928 | 0.16 | 24 min |
| #2 | Luckster | 337 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Nomadde HD | 303 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | HowlyShiet | 243 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | Vinchen<3 | 238 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fluchseuchschträjer | +4.44 | 86 | 74 |
| #2 | HowlyShiet | +3.46 | 88 | 69 |
| #3 | Mr.Smith ツ | +3.21 | 78 | 76 |
| #4 | Luckster | +3.09 | 85 | 45 |
| #5 | StR1k3r | +2.73 | 86 | 70 |





