








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 439 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3569 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,949 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4617 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3531 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3206 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3595 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $754,429 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [SG] autist slayer | 69% | 59 |
| #2 | chonk | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | Juan Carlos | 58% | 116 |
| #4 | GMNOR | 56% | 63 |
| #5 | ggFudge | 53% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | LOADHOG | 51% | 164 |
| #8 | Lodex | 48% | 147 |
| #9 | Turmix | 44% | 18 |
| #10 | Sebbafresh | 36% | 33 |
| #11 | akerholten | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lodex | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | GMNOR | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Juan Carlos | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | [SG] autist slayer | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | LOADHOG | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juan Carlos | 369 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | LOADHOG | 339 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Lodex | 297 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | GMNOR | 199 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | [SG] autist slayer | 129 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [SG] autist slayer | +6.64 | 60 | 52 |
| #2 | ็ | +5.91 | 66 | 59 |
| #3 | Sebbafresh | +5.85 | 61 | 60 |
| #4 | chonk | +5.06 | 56 | 58 |
| #5 | P-Unit | +1.80 | 40 | 73 |





