








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1258 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,665 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 933 | 25% |
| Smokes | 854 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1189 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 689 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $455,556 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [SG] autist slayer | 79% | 39 |
| #2 | Ödlund | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | GMNOR | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | LOADHOG | 58% | 81 |
| #5 | P-Unit | 58% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Teogey | 56% | 9 |
| #8 | Turmix | 50% | 22 |
| #9 | ็ | 46% | 13 |
| #10 | Sebbafresh | 42% | 19 |
| #11 | akerholten | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lodex | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Turmix | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | P-Unit | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | ็ | 2 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | Teogey | 2 | 0.0103 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P-Unit | 576 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #2 | LOADHOG | 129 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Turmix | 108 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #4 | Lodex | 97 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | [SG] autist slayer | 87 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [SG] autist slayer | +7.00 | 67 | 54 |
| #2 | ็ | +6.78 | 70 | 53 |
| #3 | Sebbafresh | +6.07 | 64 | 57 |
| #4 | Ödlund | +2.31 | 89 | 49 |
| #5 | P-Unit | +1.62 | 37 | 72 |





