








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 528 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 233 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1959 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,330 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1567 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2352 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3148 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2263 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $873,763 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [SG] autist slayer | 73% | 26 |
| #2 | ็ | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | Juan Carlos | 57% | 58 |
| #4 | chonk | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | P-Unit | 48% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ggFudge | 45% | 66 |
| #7 | LOADHOG | 45% | 110 |
| #8 | Sebbafresh | 40% | 25 |
| #9 | GMNOR | 38% | 66 |
| #10 | akerholten | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [SG] autist slayer | 5 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | ggFudge | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | LOADHOG | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Juan Carlos | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | ็ | 3 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P-Unit | 733 | 0.24 | 19 min |
| #2 | GMNOR | 227 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | Juan Carlos | 209 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | LOADHOG | 201 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | ggFudge | 141 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [SG] autist slayer | +6.70 | 64 | 50 |
| #2 | ็ | +6.36 | 67 | 62 |
| #3 | Sebbafresh | +6.33 | 60 | 61 |
| #4 | chonk | +4.17 | 53 | 61 |
| #5 | akerholten | +2.23 | 63 | 82 |





