








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1487 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,689 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1505 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2298 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2373 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1513 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,534,899 of utility $238 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [SG] autist slayer | 71% | 35 |
| #2 | ggFudge | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | chonk | 59% | 34 |
| #4 | Juan Carlos | 58% | 81 |
| #5 | ็ | 52% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ็ | 52% | 27 |
| #6 | P-Unit | 51% | 164 |
| #7 | Sebbafresh | 50% | 18 |
| #8 | Lodex | 45% | 110 |
| #9 | GMNOR | 40% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lodex | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | GMNOR | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | [SG] autist slayer | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | ็ | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | P-Unit | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P-Unit | 772 | 0.23 | 20 min |
| #2 | GMNOR | 276 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Juan Carlos | 246 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Lodex | 201 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | chonk | 93 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [SG] autist slayer | +8.04 | 67 | 52 |
| #2 | Sebbafresh | +6.52 | 67 | 60 |
| #3 | ็ | +5.99 | 64 | 58 |
| #4 | chonk | +3.71 | 40 | 50 |
| #5 | P-Unit | +2.34 | 40 | 73 |





