








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 117 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1009 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,971 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 470 | 24% |
| Smokes | 664 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 532 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 305 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $263,268 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ödlund | 90% | 10 |
| #2 | ggFudge | 82% | 11 |
| #3 | Juan Carlos | 79% | 39 |
| #4 | Lodex | 73% | 26 |
| #5 | LOADHOG | 71% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Juan Carlos | 79% | 39 |
| #4 | Lodex | 73% | 26 |
| #5 | LOADHOG | 71% | 35 |
| #6 | P-Unit | 69% | 59 |
| #7 | GMNOR | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lodex | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Juan Carlos | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | ggFudge | 1 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | GMNOR | 1 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P-Unit | 295 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #2 | Juan Carlos | 125 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Lodex | 53 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | LOADHOG | 42 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ödlund | 33 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [SG] autist slayer | +5.39 | 62 | 53 |
| #2 | Ödlund | +3.19 | 89 | 49 |
| #3 | P-Unit | +1.08 | 39 | 71 |
| #4 | Juan Carlos | +0.45 | 71 | 48 |
| #5 | Lodex | -1.54 | 40 | 52 |





