








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 856 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 310 matches | ||
| Premier | 200 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 119 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5751 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,711 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8580 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6718 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5120 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5293 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,568,804 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 914 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RandomReece | 63% | 35 |
| #2 | -Hayden | 58% | 159 |
| #3 | ₒ ₓ ₔ | 58% | 187 |
| #4 | freq | 54% | 209 |
| #5 | type shit | 49% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | -Hayden | 58% | 159 |
| #3 | ₒ ₓ ₔ | 58% | 187 |
| #4 | freq | 54% | 209 |
| #5 | type shit | 49% | 63 |
| #6 | Lexy - Lil Nasty | 46% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Hayden | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | freq | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | ₒ ₓ ₔ | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | type shit | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Lexy - Lil Nasty | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Hayden | 514 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | ₒ ₓ ₔ | 453 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | freq | 447 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | Lexy - Lil Nasty | 195 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | type shit | 114 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ₒ ₓ ₔ | +1.74 | 73 | 73 |
| #2 | -Hayden | +1.62 | 72 | 74 |
| #3 | freq | +1.59 | 69 | 61 |
| #4 | Lexy - Lil Nasty | +0.41 | 75 | 66 |
| #5 | RandomReece | -0.00 | 75 | 66 |





