








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
470 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 362 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 76 | 21% |
| Smokes | 104 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 41 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 141 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $74,113 of utility $27 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HELPPP HELP ME HELP! | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | G Money | 34% | 96 |
| #3 | Pnad | 34% | 71 |
| #4 | zerotwo | 33% | 108 |
| #5 | frenchzebra | 32% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zerotwo | 34 | 0.0161 |
| #2 | frenchzebra | 28 | 0.0355 |
| #3 | G Money | 27 | 0.0145 |
| #4 | Pnad | 24 | 0.0172 |
| #5 | TeaJaey | 23 | 0.0172 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zerotwo | +2.37 | 70 | 45 |
| #2 | TeaJaey | +1.18 | 73 | 28 |
| #3 | G Money | +0.85 | 65 | 14 |
| #4 | frenchzebra | +0.66 | 67 | 45 |
| #5 | HELPPP HELP ME HELP! | -0.41 | 23 | 35 |





