








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 197 matches | ||
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




89 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4253 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,643 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2362 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3652 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2504 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2125 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,546,937 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1034 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xaint_laurent | 50% | 50 |
| #2 | HELPPP HELP ME HELP! | 49% | 65 |
| #3 | frenchzebra | 46% | 211 |
| #4 | Pnad | 45% | 192 |
| #5 | TeaJaey | 45% | 191 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frenchzebra | 81 | 0.0189 |
| #2 | TeaJaey | 59 | 0.0151 |
| #3 | G Money | 53 | 0.0116 |
| #4 | Rocket | 35 | 0.0166 |
| #5 | Pnad | 34 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frenchzebra | 940 | 0.22 | 20 min |
| #2 | Pnad | 400 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | TeaJaey | 220 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | G Money | 176 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | HELPPP HELP ME HELP! | 148 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xaint_laurent | +3.06 | 69 | 50 |
| #2 | zerotwo | +1.70 | 70 | 56 |
| #3 | TeaJaey | +0.76 | 71 | 30 |
| #4 | G Money | +0.34 | 67 | 21 |
| #5 | frenchzebra | +0.06 | 69 | 56 |





