








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 493 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 273 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 177 matches | ||
| Wingman | 82 matches | ||
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




206 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7752 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,842 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8792 | 37% |
| Smokes | 6096 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4394 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4560 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,440,370 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | z | 75% | 44 |
| #2 | Hyperthorical | 56% | 105 |
| #3 | Pnad | 47% | 137 |
| #4 | zerotwo | 46% | 211 |
| #5 | G Money | 45% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Pnad | 47% | 137 |
| #4 | zerotwo | 46% | 211 |
| #5 | G Money | 45% | 166 |
| #6 | TeaJaey | 45% | 143 |
| #7 | xaint_laurent | 45% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zerotwo | 48 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | TeaJaey | 36 | 0.0126 |
| #3 | G Money | 29 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | Pnad | 20 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | Hyperthorical | 13 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zerotwo | 399 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | Pnad | 267 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | z | 238 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #4 | TeaJaey | 169 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | G Money | 158 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | z | +2.90 | 72 | 69 |
| #2 | zerotwo | +1.76 | 67 | 60 |
| #3 | xaint_laurent | +1.67 | 70 | 47 |
| #4 | Hyperthorical | +1.49 | 66 | 44 |
| #5 | G Money | +0.40 | 64 | 26 |





