








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 446 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 178 matches | ||
| Wingman | 157 matches | ||
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4516 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,985 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4623 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3157 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 6060 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 4145 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $872,129 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1853 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peter Madsen | 61% | 49 |
| #2 | 𝐒𝐞𝐣𝐞𝟎𝟎𝟗𝟒 | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | Twitch Bazeツ | 60% | 72 |
| #4 | v0rtex- | 58% | 38 |
| #5 | Ceptt | 57% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Ceptt | 57% | 56 |
| #6 | Kurt tager urt | 56% | 36 |
| #7 | Bang | 55% | 66 |
| #8 | Grundahl11 | 50% | 34 |
| #9 | wx | 45% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bang | 24 | 0.0174 |
| #2 | Ceptt | 19 | 0.0160 |
| #3 | Peter Madsen | 18 | 0.0176 |
| #4 | 𝐒𝐞𝐣𝐞𝟎𝟎𝟗𝟒 | 15 | 0.0306 |
| #5 | Kurt tager urt | 9 | 0.0127 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twitch Bazeツ | 288 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | Bang | 156 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Peter Madsen | 150 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | v0rtex- | 84 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ceptt | 74 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twitch Bazeツ | +3.74 | 84 | 58 |
| #2 | Kurt tager urt | +3.43 | 87 | 65 |
| #3 | Peter Madsen | +2.95 | 83 | 66 |
| #4 | Bang | +2.73 | 87 | 56 |
| #5 | Grundahl11 | +1.83 | 66 | 52 |





