








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1498 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 449 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




237 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8683 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,336 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8915 | 31% |
| Smokes | 7117 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5867 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6437 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $978,117 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hj0rt03- | 61% | 49 |
| #2 | Kurt tager urt | 57% | 127 |
| #3 | Ceptt | 53% | 590 |
| #4 | v0rtex- | 51% | 217 |
| #5 | Bang | 48% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Kurt tager urt | 57% | 127 |
| #3 | Ceptt | 53% | 590 |
| #4 | v0rtex- | 51% | 217 |
| #5 | Bang | 48% | 165 |
| #6 | pULASKI- | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ceptt | 114 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Bang | 59 | 0.0174 |
| #3 | v0rtex- | 50 | 0.0112 |
| #4 | Kurt tager urt | 47 | 0.0182 |
| #5 | pULASKI- | 21 | 0.0261 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ceptt | 1225 | 0.10 | 29 min |
| #2 | v0rtex- | 536 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | Bang | 303 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Kurt tager urt | 185 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Hj0rt03- | 96 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peter Madsen | +1.91 | 83 | 64 |
| #2 | Bang | +1.29 | 88 | 57 |
| #3 | Kurt tager urt | +1.06 | 78 | 62 |
| #4 | pULASKI- | +0.20 | 84 | 58 |
| #5 | Hj0rt03- | -0.19 | 62 | 71 |





