








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 903 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 291 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Esplay | 9 matches | 1,883 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




122 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5197 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,250 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2659 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2571 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2753 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2267 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,786,532 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hj0rt03- | 55% | 66 |
| #2 | Kurt tager urt | 54% | 65 |
| #3 | 𝐒𝐞𝐣𝐞𝟎𝟎𝟗𝟒 | 52% | 64 |
| #4 | Ceptt | 51% | 217 |
| #5 | v0rtex- | 49% | 239 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 𝐒𝐞𝐣𝐞𝟎𝟎𝟗𝟒 | 52% | 64 |
| #4 | Ceptt | 51% | 217 |
| #5 | v0rtex- | 49% | 239 |
| #6 | Peter Madsen | 48% | 165 |
| #7 | pULASKI- | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | v0rtex- | 63 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | Peter Madsen | 54 | 0.0159 |
| #3 | Ceptt | 45 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | 𝐒𝐞𝐣𝐞𝟎𝟎𝟗𝟒 | 33 | 0.0254 |
| #5 | Kurt tager urt | 23 | 0.0172 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | v0rtex- | 555 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | Peter Madsen | 501 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | Ceptt | 338 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | 𝐒𝐞𝐣𝐞𝟎𝟎𝟗𝟒 | 185 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Hj0rt03- | 119 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bang | +1.83 | 87 | 57 |
| #2 | Peter Madsen | +1.68 | 82 | 65 |
| #3 | Kurt tager urt | +1.65 | 77 | 61 |
| #4 | Hj0rt03- | -0.08 | 59 | 72 |
| #5 | Ceptt | -0.38 | 82 | 57 |





