








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1904 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1786 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1186 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 541 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $242,924 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AKdo #FaZeUp | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Šalinokoptéra | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | kostlivec | 57% | 91 |
| #4 | FlyCZ | 56% | 41 |
| #5 | koksh | 54% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | FlyCZ | 56% | 41 |
| #5 | koksh | 54% | 90 |
| #6 | krémová Natálka | 48% | 64 |
| #7 | Kub4n0sc0p3 | 46% | 35 |
| #8 | Kofola 2L PET | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | krémová Natálka | 31 | 0.0255 |
| #2 | koksh | 28 | 0.0155 |
| #3 | kostlivec | 17 | 0.0094 |
| #4 | Kub4n0sc0p3 | 15 | 0.0221 |
| #5 | FlyCZ | 12 | 0.0135 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koksh | 206 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | kostlivec | 165 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | FlyCZ | 70 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | krémová Natálka | 62 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Šalinokoptéra | 28 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Šalinokoptéra | +9.50 | 76 | 61 |
| #2 | AKdo #FaZeUp | +5.28 | 69 | 76 |
| #3 | FlyCZ | +4.11 | 53 | 51 |
| #4 | Extra Slutty Olive Oil | +3.94 | 59 | 53 |
| #5 | kostlivec | -0.17 | 27 | 52 |





