








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1197 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,533 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 203 | 13% |
| Smokes | 207 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 564 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 559 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $967,637 of utility $324 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kostlivec | 48% | 77 |
| #2 | koksh | 47% | 118 |
| #3 | Extra Slutty Olive Oil | 46% | 35 |
| #4 | krémová Natálka | 40% | 89 |
| #5 | Kofola 2L PET | 40% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Extra Slutty Olive Oil | 46% | 35 |
| #4 | krémová Natálka | 40% | 89 |
| #5 | Kofola 2L PET | 40% | 35 |
| #6 | AKdo #FaZeUp | 33% | 12 |
| #7 | FlyCZ | 31% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | krémová Natálka | 46 | 0.0253 |
| #2 | koksh | 37 | 0.0155 |
| #3 | kostlivec | 14 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | FlyCZ | 9 | 0.0150 |
| #5 | Extra Slutty Olive Oil | 6 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koksh | 256 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | Extra Slutty Olive Oil | 134 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | kostlivec | 109 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | krémová Natálka | 92 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | FlyCZ | 45 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AKdo #FaZeUp | +9.45 | 92 | 63 |
| #2 | Extra Slutty Olive Oil | +4.81 | 62 | 54 |
| #3 | FlyCZ | +3.38 | 64 | 54 |
| #4 | koksh | +0.95 | 37 | 63 |
| #5 | kostlivec | +0.95 | 28 | 48 |





