








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1684 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,844 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1331 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1795 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1675 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2043 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $452,929 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AKdo #FaZeUp | 60% | 35 |
| #2 | Extra Slutty Olive Oil | 57% | 91 |
| #3 | koksh | 48% | 162 |
| #4 | Kub4n0sc0p3 | 48% | 77 |
| #5 | FlyCZ | 46% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | koksh | 48% | 162 |
| #4 | Kub4n0sc0p3 | 48% | 77 |
| #5 | FlyCZ | 46% | 69 |
| #6 | Kofola 2L PET | 46% | 37 |
| #7 | krémová Natálka | 46% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | krémová Natálka | 62 | 0.0261 |
| #2 | koksh | 41 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | Kub4n0sc0p3 | 37 | 0.0243 |
| #4 | AKdo #FaZeUp | 16 | 0.0216 |
| #5 | Extra Slutty Olive Oil | 11 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koksh | 369 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | Extra Slutty Olive Oil | 338 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | krémová Natálka | 126 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | AKdo #FaZeUp | 91 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | FlyCZ | 83 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AKdo #FaZeUp | +7.94 | 87 | 67 |
| #2 | Extra Slutty Olive Oil | +5.20 | 58 | 51 |
| #3 | FlyCZ | +4.45 | 60 | 45 |
| #4 | kostlivec | +0.12 | 29 | 53 |
| #5 | koksh | -1.05 | 33 | 62 |





