








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2472 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,864 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 725 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1066 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1222 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 851 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $917,939 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 190 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AKdo #FaZeUp | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | Extra Slutty Olive Oil | 56% | 41 |
| #3 | koksh | 49% | 154 |
| #4 | kostlivec | 46% | 69 |
| #5 | krémová Natálka | 41% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Extra Slutty Olive Oil | 56% | 41 |
| #3 | koksh | 49% | 154 |
| #4 | kostlivec | 46% | 69 |
| #5 | krémová Natálka | 41% | 82 |
| #6 | Kub4n0sc0p3 | 31% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | krémová Natálka | 52 | 0.0325 |
| #2 | koksh | 43 | 0.0140 |
| #3 | kostlivec | 16 | 0.0109 |
| #4 | AKdo #FaZeUp | 15 | 0.0259 |
| #5 | Kub4n0sc0p3 | 12 | 0.0200 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koksh | 379 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | Extra Slutty Olive Oil | 146 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | krémová Natálka | 140 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | kostlivec | 131 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | AKdo #FaZeUp | 88 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AKdo #FaZeUp | +6.77 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | Extra Slutty Olive Oil | +4.19 | 50 | 57 |
| #3 | FlyCZ | +3.95 | 57 | 50 |
| #4 | koksh | -1.43 | 29 | 62 |
| #5 | kostlivec | -1.59 | 21 | 53 |





