








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




128 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1118 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,187 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 766 | 18% |
| Smokes | 855 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 982 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1584 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $368,157 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AKdo #FaZeUp | 58% | 45 |
| #2 | Šalinokoptéra | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | Extra Slutty Olive Oil | 48% | 64 |
| #4 | kostlivec | 46% | 118 |
| #5 | FlyCZ | 41% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | kostlivec | 46% | 118 |
| #5 | FlyCZ | 41% | 82 |
| #6 | koksh | 41% | 196 |
| #7 | Kub4n0sc0p3 | 40% | 89 |
| #8 | Kofola 2L PET | 31% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koksh | 68 | 0.0169 |
| #2 | Kub4n0sc0p3 | 36 | 0.0197 |
| #3 | kostlivec | 27 | 0.0111 |
| #4 | AKdo #FaZeUp | 23 | 0.0242 |
| #5 | FlyCZ | 17 | 0.0102 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koksh | 444 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | Extra Slutty Olive Oil | 234 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | kostlivec | 158 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | AKdo #FaZeUp | 122 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | FlyCZ | 96 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Šalinokoptéra | +9.70 | 78 | 62 |
| #2 | AKdo #FaZeUp | +8.19 | 84 | 63 |
| #3 | Extra Slutty Olive Oil | +6.20 | 63 | 54 |
| #4 | FlyCZ | +4.47 | 56 | 48 |
| #5 | kostlivec | +0.31 | 27 | 54 |





