








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 351 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 256 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2835 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,540 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1004 | 40% |
| Smokes | 488 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 368 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 680 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,528,818 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 358 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :3 | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | SlimeGod | 50% | 166 |
| #3 | Divinity | 50% | 166 |
| #4 | Juke | 47% | 210 |
| #5 | MommysRopeShooter | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :3 | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | SlimeGod | 50% | 166 |
| #3 | Divinity | 50% | 166 |
| #4 | Juke | 47% | 210 |
| #5 | MommysRopeShooter | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juke | 25 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | SlimeGod | 24 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Divinity | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | :3 | 6 | 0.0105 |
| #5 | MommysRopeShooter | 3 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juke | 509 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | Divinity | 350 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | SlimeGod | 331 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | MommysRopeShooter | 35 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | :3 | 25 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :3 | +4.44 | 58 | 47 |
| #2 | FFflareon | +3.32 | 42 | 21 |
| #3 | MommysRopeShooter | +0.79 | 43 | 43 |
| #4 | SlimeGod | -0.54 | 35 | 44 |
| #5 | Juke | -2.07 | 30 | 43 |





