








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1056 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,899 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1050 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1288 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1403 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1158 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $517,814 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 369 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whoatemycat | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Dryyym | 58% | 103 |
| #3 | Martin fjelljeita | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | Gorlami | 54% | 112 |
| #5 | SEAN | 51% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Gorlami | 54% | 112 |
| #5 | SEAN | 51% | 114 |
| #6 | panzer | 48% | 52 |
| #7 | Ⓛ Splinter | 48% | 23 |
| #8 | Gudmi | 47% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SEAN | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | panzer | 8 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | Dryyym | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Gudmi | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Gorlami | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SEAN | 429 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | Dryyym | 266 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | Gudmi | 173 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | panzer | 148 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Gorlami | 143 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dryyym | +3.40 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | Martin fjelljeita | +0.62 | 57 | 67 |
| #3 | panzer | +0.18 | 81 | 64 |
| #4 | Palla | -0.42 | 61 | 62 |
| #5 | Gorlami | -0.44 | 68 | 42 |





