








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
979 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,297 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 823 | 25% |
| Smokes | 571 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1130 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 773 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $360,167 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Palla | 47% | 87 |
| #6 | Gorlami | 46% | 81 |
| #7 | SEAN | 43% | 76 |
| #8 | panzer | 42% | 36 |
| #9 | Ⓛ Splinter | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | panzer | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Palla | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | SEAN | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Dryyym | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Gorlami | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SEAN | 296 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | Dryyym | 183 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Palla | 132 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Gorlami | 102 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | panzer | 98 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dryyym | +3.35 | 85 | 62 |
| #2 | Martin fjelljeita | -0.23 | 61 | 64 |
| #3 | Palla | -0.37 | 65 | 62 |
| #4 | Gorlami | -0.77 | 64 | 44 |
| #5 | SEAN | -0.81 | 71 | 71 |





