








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1312 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,235 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 471 | 21% |
| Smokes | 732 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 536 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 496 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $706,740 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Martin fjelljeita | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Whoatemycat | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | Ⓛ Splinter | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | Dryyym | 58% | 88 |
| #5 | Palla | 54% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Dryyym | 58% | 88 |
| #5 | Palla | 54% | 112 |
| #6 | SEAN | 49% | 98 |
| #7 | panzer | 47% | 47 |
| #8 | Gudmi | 46% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Palla | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | SEAN | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Gudmi | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | panzer | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Dryyym | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SEAN | 386 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | Dryyym | 216 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Palla | 169 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Gudmi | 158 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | panzer | 121 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dryyym | +3.96 | 83 | 65 |
| #2 | Ⓛ Splinter | +0.79 | 68 | 66 |
| #3 | panzer | +0.67 | 84 | 65 |
| #4 | Martin fjelljeita | +0.27 | 52 | 67 |
| #5 | Whoatemycat | -0.23 | 77 | 60 |





