








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1354 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,527 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2094 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1681 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1345 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1407 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $399,427 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 224 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Palla | 51% | 114 |
| #5 | Gorlami | 49% | 98 |
| #6 | Gudmi | 43% | 76 |
| #7 | panzer | 43% | 60 |
| #8 | -FetaSnax | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Palla | 10 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | panzer | 8 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Dryyym | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Gudmi | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | -FetaSnax | 3 | 0.0152 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dryyym | 222 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | panzer | 171 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Palla | 162 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Gudmi | 150 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Gorlami | 122 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dryyym | +3.23 | 84 | 62 |
| #2 | Whoatemycat | +1.71 | 70 | 53 |
| #3 | panzer | +0.46 | 81 | 62 |
| #4 | SEAN | -0.46 | 71 | 70 |
| #5 | -FetaSnax | -0.51 | 86 | 46 |





