








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 350 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 446 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4688 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,940 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4313 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4049 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4990 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5588 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,206,710 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wallmax | 82% | 50 |
| #2 | Agent Cody Banks | 80% | 40 |
| #3 | addi húsó | 76% | 34 |
| #4 | ★Flíspeysupabbi™ | 76% | 29 |
| #5 | Slogi | 72% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | Hazard | 60% | 63 |
| #17 | BaraSara | 60% | 42 |
| #18 | TapiNn | 59% | 54 |
| #19 | -->mio<-- | 49% | 35 |
| #20 | LeXmaskinen | 45% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kristoferomar2009 | 18 | 0.0137 |
| #2 | Donn1klu7s | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Hazard | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Knifeka | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | TapiNn | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donn1klu7s | 564 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #2 | 你媽媽性感 | 388 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #3 | Maggi Mörgæs | 308 | 0.36 | 13 min |
| #4 | Sigurdur | 292 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #5 | LeXmaskinen | 242 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eggiFUNCTION- | +4.22 | 86 | 59 |
| #2 | wallmax | +2.79 | 69 | 71 |
| #3 | -->mio<-- | +2.77 | 61 | 52 |
| #4 | Mr. Goblin | +2.73 | 58 | 55 |
| #5 | DeV1Ce | +2.29 | 89 | 50 |





