








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1651 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 294 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4487 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,449 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3989 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3357 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 5971 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 5132 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $930,841 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1616 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wallmax | 73% | 59 |
| #2 | Mosto | 71% | 21 |
| #3 | DeV1Ce | 70% | 63 |
| #4 | addi húsó | 68% | 41 |
| #5 | Jazzycakes | 66% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | DivisioN | 63% | 27 |
| #8 | leskillz | 57% | 28 |
| #9 | ★Flíspeysupabbi™ | 57% | 58 |
| #10 | Skipid DAS BOOT | 57% | 23 |
| #11 | Flexy | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jazzycakes | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Agent Cody Banks | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | DeV1Ce | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | wallmax | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | addi húsó | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jazzycakes | 308 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | wallmax | 160 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | DivisioN | 130 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | DeV1Ce | 100 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | addi húsó | 95 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skipid DAS BOOT | +3.81 | 72 | 62 |
| #2 | wallmax | +2.26 | 67 | 71 |
| #3 | DeV1Ce | +1.74 | 80 | 52 |
| #4 | Agent Cody Banks | +1.18 | 50 | 46 |
| #5 | addi húsó | +1.11 | 70 | 58 |





