








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 351 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 219 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3324 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,387 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4465 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3550 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2278 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3094 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $739,992 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 633 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | kristoferomar2009 | 55% | 22 |
| #10 | -->mio<-- | 53% | 45 |
| #11 | Mr. Goblin | 52% | 77 |
| #12 | LeXmaskinen | 51% | 37 |
| #13 | Dwn ⚆_⚆ | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Goblin | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Freynar | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | -->mio<-- | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | DeV1Ce | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Dwn ⚆_⚆ | 2 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigurdur | 276 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | Jazzycakes | 224 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Freynar | 187 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | Knifeka | 159 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mr. Goblin | 138 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freynar | +3.74 | 75 | 61 |
| #2 | eggiFUNCTION- | +2.79 | 82 | 62 |
| #3 | DeV1Ce | +2.14 | 85 | 44 |
| #4 | Sigurdur | +1.89 | 75 | 58 |
| #5 | 你媽媽性感 | +1.32 | 64 | 62 |





