








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 478 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 295 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3481 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,727 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4782 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6456 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4839 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4650 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,037,177 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 446 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SLURPEE | 61% | 31 |
| #2 | ioio | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | BamBam42 | 52% | 31 |
| #4 | 40AiR | 50% | 180 |
| #5 | Large Man on The Educational Ins | 50% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Large Man on The Educational Ins | 50% | 159 |
| #6 | MLG Milkman ✪ | 48% | 326 |
| #7 | GaryThaGoat^ | 46% | 216 |
| #8 | MessyMarv | 44% | 72 |
| #9 | BskooL | 28% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GaryThaGoat^ | 16 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | MLG Milkman ✪ | 13 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | 40AiR | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | MessyMarv | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Large Man on The Educational Ins | 5 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GaryThaGoat^ | 781 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #2 | 40AiR | 616 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #3 | MLG Milkman ✪ | 351 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| #4 | MessyMarv | 286 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | BamBam42 | 126 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ioio | +3.24 | 82 | 57 |
| #2 | MLG Milkman ✪ | +2.81 | 81 | 55 |
| #3 | SLURPEE | +1.60 | 87 | 44 |
| #4 | GaryThaGoat^ | +1.52 | 74 | 69 |
| #5 | Large Man on The Educational Ins | -0.19 | 62 | 41 |





