








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 604 matches | ||
| Faceit | 188 matches | ||
| Wingman | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 26 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11268 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,157 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12316 | 30% |
| Smokes | 10824 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 9509 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 8508 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,062,706 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1289 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chicken | 60% | 87 |
| #2 | SLURPEE | 59% | 73 |
| #3 | MLG Milkman ✪ | 55% | 424 |
| #4 | BamBam42 | 54% | 110 |
| #5 | ioio | 54% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Arum | 50% | 180 |
| #8 | Ru55kiii | 49% | 93 |
| #9 | GaryThaGoat^ | 49% | 330 |
| #10 | MessyMarv | 47% | 262 |
| #11 | Enzo | 38% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GaryThaGoat^ | 23 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | MLG Milkman ✪ | 21 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Large Man on The Educational Ins | 20 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | MessyMarv | 19 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | BamBam42 | 14 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GaryThaGoat^ | 1193 | 0.18 | 30 min |
| #2 | MessyMarv | 934 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #3 | Arum | 501 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | MLG Milkman ✪ | 473 | 0.06 | 15 min |
| #5 | Large Man on The Educational Ins | 446 | 0.04 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ioio | +3.43 | 80 | 60 |
| #2 | MLG Milkman ✪ | +3.28 | 82 | 55 |
| #3 | SLURPEE | +1.60 | 90 | 42 |
| #4 | GaryThaGoat^ | +1.22 | 74 | 67 |
| #5 | Large Man on The Educational Ins | +1.03 | 64 | 42 |





