








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 174 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
815 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,892 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 354 | 12% |
| Smokes | 669 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 739 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1130 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $320,252 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Kikiuts ♥ ᓚᘏᗢ | 42% | 140 |
| #7 | ✪ Thomas | 41% | 46 |
| #8 | Andra_ | 40% | 10 |
| #9 | Balkan blood | 39% | 64 |
| #10 | 🦊 KitsuNee 🦊 | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Thomas | 7 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Kikiuts ♥ ᓚᘏᗢ | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Bobby Ash | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Balkan blood | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Punk | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bobby Ash | 249 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | Balkan blood | 160 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Kikiuts ♥ ᓚᘏᗢ | 157 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✪ Thomas | 148 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | Akhundelaar | 98 | 0.13 | 2 min |





