








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 606 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 226 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2679 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,015 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2249 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2672 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2443 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2651 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,222,996 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 623 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Bobby Ash | 42% | 69 |
| #12 | aliiin | 39% | 51 |
| #13 | Momo :3 | 39% | 49 |
| #14 | 🦊 KitsuNee 🦊 | 36% | 44 |
| #15 | Nebunik | 35% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Thomas | 13 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Balkan blood | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Andra_ | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Exedder | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | aliiin | 5 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Thomas | 443 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #2 | Balkan blood | 373 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #3 | Bobby Ash | 260 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | Andra_ | 254 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | Yoda | 179 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Thomas | +3.87 | 79 | 70 |
| #2 | aliiin | +1.69 | 71 | 59 |
| #3 | Balkan blood | +0.41 | 51 | 69 |
| #4 | Exedder | +0.10 | 52 | 64 |
| #5 | ghostanu | -0.08 | 56 | 54 |





