








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 453 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 253 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4018 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,954 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4227 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3460 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3579 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2688 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $899,523 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 334 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ghostanu | 47% | 118 |
| #9 | Rachel. | 47% | 73 |
| #10 | Kenshin | 43% | 23 |
| #11 | Punk | 42% | 69 |
| #12 | Gun Jack | 40% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Thomas | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Kikiuts ♥ ᓚᘏᗢ | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Balkan blood | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | ghostanu | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Punk | 4 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Balkan blood | 436 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | ✪ Thomas | 281 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | ghostanu | 215 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | deniz | 183 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | Kikiuts ♥ ᓚᘏᗢ | 141 | 0.06 | 3 min |





