








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 148 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
711 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,176 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 949 | 30% |
| Smokes | 783 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 772 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 672 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $383,415 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gus Fring | 39% | 88 |
| #2 | b4ldur | 36% | 11 |
| #3 | Hank schrader bandit.camp | 34% | 116 |
| #4 | lord mobile | 33% | 30 |
| #5 | Heinz | 9% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gus Fring | 39% | 88 |
| #2 | b4ldur | 36% | 11 |
| #3 | Hank schrader bandit.camp | 34% | 116 |
| #4 | lord mobile | 33% | 30 |
| #5 | Heinz | 9% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gus Fring | 19 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | b4ldur | 13 | 0.0568 |
| #3 | lord mobile | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Hank schrader bandit.camp | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Heinz | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hank schrader bandit.camp | 197 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Gus Fring | 118 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | lord mobile | 94 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | b4ldur | 37 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Heinz | 10 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gus Fring | +7.19 | 46 | 58 |
| #2 | b4ldur | +4.51 | 16 | 66 |
| #3 | lord mobile | -2.92 | 10 | 50 |
| #4 | Heinz | -4.19 | 26 | 21 |
| #5 | Captain Jack Sparrow | -4.74 | 8 | 44 |





