








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1505 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,714 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 686 | 18% |
| Smokes | 292 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 1559 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 1177 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $969,017 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sharp | 55% | 119 |
| #2 | Crazy | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | owen | 49% | 57 |
| #4 | 1der | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | Fredrick™ | 47% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Crazy | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | owen | 49% | 57 |
| #4 | 1der | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | Fredrick™ | 47% | 124 |
| #6 | MrFailology | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sharp | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | owen | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Fredrick™ | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | MrFailology | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | 1der | 2 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fredrick™ | 254 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | sharp | 252 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | owen | 204 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | 1der | 141 | 0.38 | 4 min |
| #5 | MrFailology | 77 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1der | +5.47 | 94 | 86 |
| #2 | sharp | +4.92 | 85 | 59 |
| #3 | Fredrick™ | +2.13 | 76 | 57 |
| #4 | owen | +1.14 | 79 | 52 |
| #5 | Crazy | -0.62 | 79 | 50 |





