








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
938 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,935 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1251 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1120 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 555 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1009 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $202,336 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skruubz | 83% | 24 |
| #2 | Sbeve | 80% | 15 |
| #3 | Fredrick™ | 80% | 30 |
| #4 | traditions | 76% | 21 |
| #5 | xtnkt | 67% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | TwistedMangos | 50% | 16 |
| #12 | TIMEZ | 50% | 16 |
| #13 | Stewie2Dads | 47% | 17 |
| #14 | Es6x | 47% | 15 |
| #15 | s c r a p s | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xtnkt | 5 | 0.0215 |
| #2 | owen | 4 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | Fredrick™ | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | sharp | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | s c r a p s | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skruubz | 143 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #2 | TwistedMangos | 112 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #3 | Es6x | 95 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #4 | traditions | 93 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | sharp | 85 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skruubz | +5.50 | 87 | 82 |
| #2 | TwistedMangos | +4.26 | 94 | 65 |
| #3 | sharp | +3.39 | 84 | 61 |
| #4 | xtnkt | +2.57 | 81 | 72 |
| #5 | traditions | +1.04 | 82 | 63 |





