








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1462 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,556 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 378 | 24% |
| Smokes | 673 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 263 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 242 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $162,811 of utility $31 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 372 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | C Dawg | 32% | 82 |
| #8 | Dr. Gregory House | 30% | 20 |
| #9 | Billy the kid | 22% | 23 |
| #10 | meow | 22% | 37 |
| #11 | Foop | 18% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zepher | 17 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Foop | 11 | 0.0130 |
| #3 | Bubbles | 8 | 0.0262 |
| #4 | C Dawg | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Klowd | 3 | 0.0102 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zepher | 348 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | C Dawg | 192 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Foop | 66 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Billy the kid | 57 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Klowd | 54 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zepher | +5.03 | 56 | 52 |
| #2 | Dr. Gregory House | +4.22 | 44 | 61 |
| #3 | Bubbles | +3.03 | 59 | 32 |
| #4 | Viper | +2.93 | 38 | 33 |
| #5 | Billy the kid | +1.05 | 25 | 68 |





