










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 404 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1347 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 969 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 359 | 37% |
| Smokes | 423 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 94 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 93 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $671,938 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Gregory House | 58% | 119 |
| #2 | L3tz_ | 52% | 48 |
| #3 | Zepher | 51% | 182 |
| #4 | Foop | 47% | 230 |
| #5 | Billy the kid | 43% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bubbles | 53 | 0.0353 |
| #2 | Foop | 52 | 0.0111 |
| #3 | Zepher | 47 | 0.0129 |
| #4 | C Dawg | 34 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | Dr. Gregory House | 9 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C Dawg | 624 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #2 | Zepher | 449 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | Dr. Gregory House | 392 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | Foop | 378 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #5 | Billy the kid | 197 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L3tz_ | +10.01 | 81 | 36 |
| #2 | Dr. Gregory House | +6.12 | 42 | 59 |
| #3 | Zepher | +5.99 | 67 | 50 |
| #4 | Bubbles | +3.13 | 65 | 36 |
| #5 | Viper | +2.02 | 34 | 34 |





