








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 233 matches | ||
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3894 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,179 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5011 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3891 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4947 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4330 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $780,369 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 317 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tripleman | 61% | 41 |
| #2 | DirtMcGirt | 55% | 55 |
| #3 | Nase | 52% | 44 |
| #4 | Lax | 51% | 124 |
| #5 | jizzy | 51% | 178 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jizzy | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | * Fresh | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | MCDONALDSWIFIPEEK SentineL | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Kise | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Lax | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jizzy | 349 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | Lax | 346 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | MCDONALDSWIFIPEEK SentineL | 197 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #4 | Nase | 175 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | DirtMcGirt | 161 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MCDONALDSWIFIPEEK SentineL | +2.56 | 82 | 56 |
| #2 | MBastos97 | +1.98 | 70 | 59 |
| #3 | Lax | +1.27 | 74 | 57 |
| #4 | Fsgccr | +1.23 | 68 | 58 |
| #5 | Gaming Golem | +0.87 | 65 | 49 |





