








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2883 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,687 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1600 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2517 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1818 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2752 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,133,927 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | JBS | 43% | 23 |
| #15 | ry^_^ | 43% | 35 |
| #16 | DirtMcGirt | 36% | 39 |
| #17 | Ace | 33% | 24 |
| #18 | EndRz | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jizzy | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Kise | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Lax | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Lance | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Riperino | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jizzy | 351 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | Riperino | 227 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #3 | Lax | 189 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | joove | 139 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Lance | 138 | 0.12 | 3 min |





