








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 436 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Faceit | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3536 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,199 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4803 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5387 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3140 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2869 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $745,337 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1081 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | No0b1e | 25 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | (ใฃโโกโ)ใฃ โฅ Seasonal Depression โฅ | 14 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | VEMSUXD | 9 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | asdasder | 5 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | 9mm Burana | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (ใฃโโกโ)ใฃ โฅ Seasonal Depression โฅ | 319 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | No0b1e | 261 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | asdasder | 164 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | VEMSUXD | 149 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kaleb | 82 | 0.19 | 2 min |





