








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2399 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 516 matches | ||
| Faceit | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Esplay | 18 matches | 2,004 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Renown | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




96 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11304 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,829 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9619 | 26% |
| Smokes | 10249 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 8786 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 8175 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,643,343 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2649 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪𝑵𝒊𝒌𝒐ツ | 60% | 98 |
| #2 | LMRTX | 53% | 86 |
| #3 | GeNi | 52% | 87 |
| #4 | Tobi-Wan Kenobi | 50% | 58 |
| #5 | sexourwork | 49% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | jamal | 47% | 53 |
| #7 | ideal spender | 47% | 49 |
| #8 | kakka | 42% | 57 |
| #9 | Para me Banana | 42% | 48 |
| #10 | hualem_pitäjä | 23% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sexourwork | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Tobi-Wan Kenobi | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | ✪𝑵𝒊𝒌𝒐ツ | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | LMRTX | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | GeNi | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪𝑵𝒊𝒌𝒐ツ | 370 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | LMRTX | 367 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | GeNi | 245 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | Tobi-Wan Kenobi | 218 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | sexourwork | 171 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪𝑵𝒊𝒌𝒐ツ | +2.71 | 87 | 65 |
| #2 | asdasder | +1.10 | 74 | 65 |
| #3 | kakka | +1.02 | 72 | 57 |
| #4 | LMRTX | +0.97 | 69 | 73 |
| #5 | ideal spender | +0.70 | 68 | 53 |





