








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 492 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2955 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,907 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1207 | 12% |
| Smokes | 3820 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 3240 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1640 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,550,180 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1371 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT 𝙎𝙀𝙈𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙕 | 50% | 58 |
| #2 | SuolaneKorppu | 48% | 52 |
| #3 | (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Seasonal Depression ♥ | 47% | 379 |
| #4 | Ruskyjb4ndit | 46% | 84 |
| #5 | Kaleb | 41% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Seasonal Depression ♥ | 60 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | Ruskyjb4ndit | 21 | 0.0130 |
| #3 | BOT 𝙎𝙀𝙈𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙕 | 7 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | SuolaneKorppu | 6 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Kaleb | 4 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT 𝙎𝙀𝙈𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙕 | +3.53 | 62 | 64 |
| #2 | Kaleb | +3.07 | 71 | 67 |
| #3 | (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Seasonal Depression ♥ | +2.44 | 60 | 60 |
| #4 | 9mm Burana | -1.74 | 41 | 40 |
| #5 | SuolaneKorppu | -2.46 | 10 | 25 |





