








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
470 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,726 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 546 | 32% |
| Smokes | 339 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 445 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 396 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $131,252 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bedpan | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | GhostRob | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | RPT | 44% | 16 |
| #4 | jim lahey | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | Cru$h | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Cru$h | 39% | 28 |
| #6 | Don | 31% | 26 |
| #7 | JM | 30% | 23 |
| #8 | Garrison | 24% | 21 |
| #9 | Rombie | 24% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cru$h | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Don | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Garrison | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Rombie | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | GhostRob | 1 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cru$h | 132 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | Rombie | 55 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | Garrison | 37 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Don | 26 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | GhostRob | 21 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GhostRob | +7.36 | 63 | 66 |
| #2 | Cru$h | +1.90 | 67 | 69 |
| #3 | Garrison | +1.26 | 69 | 60 |
| #4 | RPT | +1.00 | 78 | 64 |
| #5 | JM | +0.61 | 82 | 65 |





