








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1964 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,774 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1113 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1364 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1357 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 940 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,161,752 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 395 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GhostRob | 47% | 15 |
| #2 | Garrison | 44% | 124 |
| #3 | JM | 43% | 47 |
| #4 | Rombie | 40% | 67 |
| #5 | jim lahey | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | The Babbahermeeni | 38% | 16 |
| #7 | Cru$h | 36% | 85 |
| #8 | Prawn Stars | 31% | 26 |
| #9 | Bedpan | 30% | 30 |
| #10 | RPT | 27% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rombie | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Prawn Stars | 4 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | Garrison | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Cru$h | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | JM | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cru$h | 407 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #2 | Garrison | 296 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | Rombie | 191 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Prawn Stars | 73 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | The Babbahermeeni | 64 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GhostRob | +2.62 | 56 | 68 |
| #2 | RPT | +2.09 | 81 | 59 |
| #3 | The Babbahermeeni | +2.07 | 56 | 71 |
| #4 | Garrison | +2.07 | 73 | 66 |
| #5 | Cru$h | +1.89 | 61 | 77 |





