










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 307 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
666 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,296 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 740 | 32% |
| Smokes | 404 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 844 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 308 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $295,339 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kissnödiga sven | 53% | 59 |
| #2 | spawn_of_satan.exe | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | エリヤ | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | BLUE | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | BON | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | spawn_of_satan.exe | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | エリヤ | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | BLUE | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | BON | 33% | 6 |
| #6 | MrBased | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kissnödiga sven | 16 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | エリヤ | 2 | 0.0190 |
| #3 | BLUE | 1 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kissnödiga sven | 207 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | BLUE | 21 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #3 | MrBased | 12 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | BON | 10 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | エリヤ | 8 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BON | +6.53 | 70 | 55 |
| #2 | kissnödiga sven | +1.01 | 52 | 48 |
| #3 | l3v1 | +0.94 | 54 | 52 |
| #4 | MrBased | -0.07 | 65 | 61 |
| #5 | BLUE | -0.39 | 48 | 50 |





