








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 606 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 320 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3183 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,565 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2813 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3377 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1972 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2403 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,360,707 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 113 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | don't666 | 56% | 50 |
| #2 | エリヤ | 53% | 298 |
| #3 | kissnödiga sven | 50% | 259 |
| #4 | Papi Santana | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | BLUE | 45% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | don't666 | 56% | 50 |
| #2 | エリヤ | 53% | 298 |
| #3 | kissnödiga sven | 50% | 259 |
| #4 | Papi Santana | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | BLUE | 45% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | エリヤ | 62 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | kissnödiga sven | 48 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | Papi Santana | 6 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | BLUE | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | don't666 | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kissnödiga sven | 648 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | エリヤ | 569 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #3 | don't666 | 139 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | BLUE | 134 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Papi Santana | 88 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | don't666 | +4.67 | 69 | 57 |
| #2 | MrBased | +1.16 | 48 | 54 |
| #3 | エリヤ | +1.09 | 71 | 39 |
| #4 | Papi Santana | -0.72 | 68 | 51 |
| #5 | kissnödiga sven | -0.89 | 44 | 43 |





