








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 353 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




145 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3175 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,522 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2040 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1762 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 996 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 724 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $327,414 of utility $40 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sabre | 33 | 0.0151 |
| #2 | canada | 24 | 0.0118 |
| #3 | j4ggr | 22 | 0.0161 |
| #4 | SneezyFishy~ | 8 | 0.0146 |
| #5 | Riverposeidon | 8 | 0.0154 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sabre | 248 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | canada | 222 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | j4ggr | 84 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Burger Beers | 75 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | SneezyFishy~ | 40 | 0.07 | 1 min |





