








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 92 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 76 matches | ||
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




115 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4309 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,012 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2320 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1711 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1426 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1555 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,308,182 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1044 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sabre | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | canada | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | ryno9766 | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | Burger Beers | 41% | 22 |
| #5 | winston churchill ai chatbot | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | canada | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | ryno9766 | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | Burger Beers | 41% | 22 |
| #5 | winston churchill ai chatbot | 35% | 34 |
| #6 | kewta | 35% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kewta | 74 | 0.0234 |
| #2 | ryno9766 | 15 | 0.0275 |
| #3 | sabre | 13 | 0.0226 |
| #4 | winston churchill ai chatbot | 12 | 0.0175 |
| #5 | canada | 5 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sabre | 64 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | kewta | 58 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #3 | ryno9766 | 50 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | canada | 40 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | winston churchill ai chatbot | 5 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sabre | +3.98 | 58 | 44 |
| #2 | SneezyFishy~ | +1.78 | 72 | 46 |
| #3 | canada | +0.62 | 37 | 35 |
| #4 | ryno9766 | +0.38 | 29 | 37 |
| #5 | kewta | -1.18 | 25 | 14 |





