








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
854 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,706 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 844 | 31% |
| Smokes | 594 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 534 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 734 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $541,850 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 183 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pawa | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Yin | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | barndon | 51% | 41 |
| #4 | ChewingFiveGum | 50% | 44 |
| #5 | \Marnie/ | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Yin | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | barndon | 51% | 41 |
| #4 | ChewingFiveGum | 50% | 44 |
| #5 | \Marnie/ | 43% | 7 |
| #6 | Evil Wizard | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChewingFiveGum | 14 | 0.0166 |
| #2 | barndon | 7 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | Yin | 3 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Evil Wizard | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Pawa | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | barndon | 105 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | Yin | 92 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | ChewingFiveGum | 50 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Evil Wizard | 35 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | \Marnie/ | 27 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yin | +6.46 | 94 | 55 |
| #2 | barndon | +6.23 | 88 | 62 |
| #3 | ChewingFiveGum | -1.71 | 46 | 40 |
| #4 | AsteroidsTM | -2.64 | 43 | 36 |
| #5 | Pawa | -2.69 | 33 | 10 |





